Geezer's Property #8

Sweat stood out on the Geezer’s brow, resting briefly in the deep creases in his skin.

He opened his mouth to speak but another voice cut through the silence. It was a beautiful, archaic voice, but it inspired a feeling of awe and respect.

“Lockegeo Bethazel.” rumbled Mekare, bending forward so some of the naga at the front had to duck slightly.

The Geezer bowed as well as he could, saying, clearly, “Yes, O Ancient?”

Mekare looked at the three musketeers, each one staring at him like it would bite them.

“What are your names, O children of the human race?” Leah squeaked and stepped back, but Sherman said, without his usual bravado, “Sherman Sharpe.”

“Rowan Breck.”

It was Sherman’s turn to step on Leah’s foot. She let out a small yelp and then caught herself. “Leah Teodor.”

Mekare considered this.

“Why have you come to the halls of the Bethazel?”

“Because we wanted to see if you existed as Elby said,” replied Sherman, eyeing Mekare apprehensively.

A sound, something between a sneeze, a cough and a growl, emerged from the serpent’s throat (or what they thought was its throat), and Mekare closed his eyes slowly.

It took the kids a second to catch on that the Ancient was laughing. The Geezer looked at him disbelievingly, and then looked at the three intruders, puzzled. The naga looked just as confused, and the Lockemet looked slightly unnerved.

“Mekare!” he shouted, once again shoving his spear into the sand impatiently. “We brought you here to make a decision!”

The rumbling calmed and Mekare looked down at the Lockemet, eyes glimmering with amusement. “Calm down, Lockemet. We have all the time in the world.” Mekare turned back to Sherman. “Yes, child, Elby has proven herself a brilliant capsule through eternity, and you understand her words.”

In spite of what Mekare had said, Sherman looked twice as confused as before.

“Yes, all three of you understand Elby’s script and meanings.” Mekare straightened, head blocking out the early sun. “Therefore, I have come to a judgment.”

Silence reigned, for even the snakes had stopped hissing to hear the Ancient’s proclamation.

“The Lockegeo Bethazel, having failed to train a successor in his age, will retire permanently from his post.”

Several nods of approval from the naga, and the Lockemet looked supremely smug.

“However.” Mekare turned to the Geezer, eyes serious. “Because the pact of the Bethazel cannot be carried out without a human Lockegeo, I give you three days to train these three children in the arts of the Locke.”

_______________________________________

Holy crud! I never fail to surprise myself :shock: :lol:

And before I wrap up my usual ramblings here, sworddance, what in the WORLD does "bei'theh" mean?? :lol:

Enjoy! I added a sprig of parsley to contrast the salty flavor :wink: :roll:

~Sumi

Comments & reviews · 6
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User avatar
Twit
Review
Twit wrote a review · Tue May 15, 2007 1:34 pm

Hey, I like Mekare. Phlegmatic. In a nice way. And, oh the DRAMA!!!

Baroness Ink wrote:“Lockegeo Bethazel.” rumbled Mekare,


That should be a comma.


Baroness Ink wrote:The Geezer bowed as well as he could, saying, clearly, “Yes, O Ancient?”


I'm not quite sure here: do you need that second comma?


Baroness Ink wrote:Mekare looked at the three musketeers,


Capitalize that.


Baroness Ink wrote:The Geezer looked at him disbelievingly, and then looked at the three intruders, puzzled. The naga looked just as confused, and the Lockemet looked slightly unnerved.


You repeat "looked" too many times. Use another word.


I think that's all. More good stuff here, and the ending . . . a forerunner of great (and dramatic) things to come. :)

-Twit

User avatar
Sumi H. Inkblot
Comment

Ofour wrote:Very good, I assume that "Bethazel" is the new Evergreen. It sounds much better.

Nice plot device. "Finally!", if I may be so bold.

Keep it coming.

It's not quite what you think... :smiles mysteriously:

And yes. You may be so bold, I deserved that. :oops:

Here's an interesting fact: 5,254 words in this story. :o :shock:

Isn't that so weird? It seems so much more then that. XD

Thanks for reviewing, you guys!

User avatar
Ofour
Comment

Very good, I assume that "Bethazel" is the new Evergreen. It sounds much better.

Nice plot device. "Finally!", if I may be so bold.

Keep it coming.

User avatar
RatchetWriter
Review

Hello!

After another effort of trying to find something to crit on this, I have come up with the following pathetic contribution.

He opened his mouth to speak but another voice cut through the silence. It was a beautiful, archaic voice, but it inspired a feeling of awe and respect.

I thought maybe a comma should go after speak. Yep that's it. All I had to offer.

This story is really captivating. (I think I said that last time :D )

Anyway, maybe you could crit the story I posted about Galactic rangers? Thanks if you do, oh well if you don't.

Keep writing the good stuff!

User avatar
Sumi H. Inkblot
Comment

Not quite yet. 8)

*
And BTW, I plan to have the next section up by tomorrow night.:P
Keep your fingers crossed.

/teaser :P

User avatar
sworddance
Review

*faints*
Exciting!
That's the plot device, I assume? Well done, well done. I like your description of Mekare laughing and of how they answered with their names. That was great.
Arts of the Locke? The next section tells me what a Locke is, right? Right? RIGHT?
...ahem. Anyway, keep it up. I want the next section, dang it.
Today was my last day of school -until college!- so I shall have to find many ways to occupy my time (ignoring the fact that I have to get a job). So for the sake of my boredom, keep posting!!
...oh, and that's twice I've gotten that question. Sorry... bei'theh is just a farewell, one that I've taken to using because it's from the story I've been working on for a long time now, so it rather stuck. I should stop confusing people.... my bad.
wind to thy will? That's in English, at least.

~sworddance



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